Holy Diver

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Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:28 pm

Zion let himself into the apartment, shoving his key back into his pocket. He set the bags of warm food on the black granite table, frowning slightly at all the mail and papers scattered across it. The smell of the warm salmon and eggs mingled in the air with another scent--a kind of chemical odor.

"...Lars?" he called quietly, looking around. A faucet was running in the bathroom down the hall; he dumped his jacket on a chair and kicked off his sneakers before he moved toward the sound. His feet made no noise on the new wood floors.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:45 pm

Even if he had been making noise, Lars never would have noticed. He had done this a thousand times, and already nine today, but his hands were shaking pretty badly now and he had to focus intensely to guide the needle into the familiar spot on his antecubital, just above the bend of his elbow. A dark bluish line practically pointed to the proper area for insertion. Even so, he had to exhale as he did so just to make sure his body was as relaxed as possible. By this point, his veins were beginning to rebel and constrict, a sure sign that he should be quitting this now, but the thought was fleeting and long gone by the time the needle had been pulled from his arm and tossed aside. A thin stream of blood pulsed from his arm but it clotted quickly and the line of blood joined the others he had yet to scrub from his arm.

And as he stood, he realized something. Or rather, realized someone was standing in the doorway to his bathroom. A cold, icy chill hit his spine, confusing his body as the warm, elated feeling had yet to fully form.

"Z...Zion," he barely whispered it, barely breathed it. A thousand thoughts hit his head at once. "W...wait, it...it isn't--"

But it was.

It was what it looked like.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:54 pm

Zion's face was scrunched with rage and disbelief. His lip pulled upward in an unconscious snarl.

"...Are you fucking serious?" he said quietly, gripping the doorway so hard his knuckles paled. "What...the fuck, Lars?!"
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:00 pm

Lars instinctively covered his arm, digging his nails in without meaning to. He was shaking so bad that even that action was difficult. He gritted his teeth.

"L...look, just, look, just listen, it-it isn't," he started, stuttering so badly in his increased effort to get the right words to come out. "I was clean, I was, this is just-- it's not-- I haven't relapsed, it's just that, I-- it's been weeks, almost two months, and I couldn't-- you just don't understand, Zion, you don't get it, you've never..."

This was not what he had been trying to explain, not at all, but it was too late and now the words were out.

"Z...Zion," he said, again, trying to ground himself. "D...don't get angry with me, it's just...just a small...a small setback."
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:12 pm

"Don't get angry?!" he repeated. "Are you fucking shitting me? You motherfucker--you sick, lying motherfucker! Don't fucking lie--how long have you been doing this? How long have you been fucking lying to my face?"

He shoved Lars in the chest, choking back the tears that were threatening to flood his eyes. That wouldn't be very gangsta.

He knocked over the bottles on the counter, scattering pills and glass on the floor and sink.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:19 pm

He recoiled at Zion's touch, but the knocking over of the bottles didn't phase him. That much he was used to, and for a moment he remembered what it was like to be twelve years old and trapped in the bathroom at his mother's house, but this was not the same as then; Zion had every reason to be angry at him, his mother never did.

"It..." he swallowed, trying to contain the guilt, the sheepishness but he knew it had to be clear on his face. "It's only been, like I said, I've been clean for weeks now--"

He stopped trying to convince himself, let alone Zion.

"It's...been...I've been doing it...for a...while," he admitted, looking anywhere but at Zion, anywhere at all, at the scattered sleep aids, the hair products and the other things now littering the floor. "P...please, Zion, listen to me, I've been really good, I've been trying so, so hard, but--"

But his best was never good enough, because he was never good enough. Not good enough for this, not good enough for anything. These thoughts sunk into his chest and made it hard to breathe.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:24 pm

He wanted to scream more, wanted to grab Lars and shake him. But there was something just too pathetic about him right now, thin and shaking and refusing to met his eyes.

"...Should call the fucking cops," he grumbled, pushing his dreads back out of his face. "This shit's fucking illegal for a reason, you know that? My brother fucking died. You stupid, stupid motherfucker."
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:31 pm

"Don't you think I know?!" he snapped back, finally, moving his eyes to meet Zion's for just a brief second. His pupils were big and wide and almost eclipsed the dark green of his irises. "I know I know I know, goddammit but you don't, you don't understand this beast at all!"

He shook and he reached out to hold onto the sink counter to steady himself. He gritted his teeth and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and turned away more rapidly than he should have and it was obvious he had flinched at the mere sight of himself like this. It was pathetic. He was pathetic.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:34 pm

"I don't fucking want to understand it! You understand it, and fucking look at you." He shook his head. "Good to know where your priorities are. But that's my fucking mistake, right? Who trusts fucking junkies? I must be fucking retarded."

He kicked the door hard, denting it slightly.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:42 pm

"P...please, you just...have to give me some time, I just need time to get clean again," he said and even as he said it he knew the again made his words ring very, very hollow. "I can do it, I can, I promise I can, I can be strong, but..."

He desperately looked at the new medication on his sink, one of the few Zion hadn't knocked off of the counter. High blood pressure medication, at his age. It was laughable how much his body was failing so soon, so early and it was all because of this but he couldn't cope with it, dear god, how could he ever cope without it?

"Please..." he whimpered, just barely managing to look up to Zion.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:44 pm

"Why should I? I trusted you. Shit, do I even mean anything to you, Lars?" he asked, his voice choked with emotion.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:02 pm

"Zion, I...love you," he said, barely able to choke out the words. "This was just a lapse of judgement, it was just...A misstep but I can fix it, I can fix it, I promise, I just have to work on it a little more, I was so close, I've been really close for a while now, it's just..."

So hard, he thought, and felt pathetic just thinking it.

"...don't leave me, please," he said so quietly he wasn't sure Zion could even hear him.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:05 pm

Zion stood completely still, as though frozen by those words. He stared at Lars's twitchy form in horror.

"I...I can't fucking do this right now."

He turned tail and stumbled out of the apartment, not stopping for his shoes, his jacket, or the breakfast food that was growing cold on the table.

-x-
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:19 pm

Work was bad. Really bad. Their typically cordial nature was forced and awkward. Zion wouldn't get close enough for Lars to even touch him. It was probably for the better, but it still hurt. Despite it being mid-summer in L.A. Lars was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with the logo for an underground metal band on the front. He passed his boss once, and only once, in the hallway, where he had quietly put his arm on Lars' shoulder and smiled knowingly at him. Lars had avoided that hallway for the next few days.

It was hot and he rolled up the sleeves on his shirt as far as he could stand to as he did paperwork in his office. Zion was due to swing by any moment to check in before he headed home for the day but Lars wasn't entirely sure it would happen. It hadn't yesterday. But today he really needed Zion's approval on some various things, so like it or not, they had to speak.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:01 pm

But Zion never showed up. He had glanced at the office door a few times, trying to gather enough courage to go in there and confront Lars, but it didn't happen.

Defeated, he slunk back to the dance studio, where he had tossed his things. He pulled on his sweater and checked his phone, oblivious to the second person in the room until he cleared his throat. Zion about jumped out of his skin.

"Shit! Sorry, I didn't fucking see you. What are you still doing here, man?"

All six feet of the choreographer leaned gracefully against the wall. He smiled at Zion, and Zion smiled back, albeit much more awkwardly. What was his name again? He could never remember.

"One of the backup girls needed to practice the moves some more. She left a little while ago, I was just cleaning up before I left. So there's my excuse--why are you here, instead of your manager's big bougie office? Heard he was on the lookout for you when I went to get my check today."

Zion bit his lip. "We aren't talking. He pissed me off. I'll deal with him later."

The choreographer laughed. "Sounds like girls fighting. Or maybe a couple. Your homeboys know you talk about another man like that?"

His face reddened, and he glared at the man as he stood up. "You better watch your fucking mouth, or you ain't getting anymore checks, nigga."

The choreographer laughed. "Oh, I'm not here to judge. I just think it's funny." He moved closer to Zion, so quickly it looked like he was floating from place to place.

Zion curled his lip. "The fuck's funny 'bout me, you bitch?"

He lowered his voice, meeting Zion's eyes. "I just think it was funny I was right, is all." He slid a hand onto Zion's shoulder, slowly trailing it down his muscular arm. "Though I guess you're right--nothing funny about it. I'm rarely wrong."

A strange feeling stirred in Zion's gut as he looked--upward, he realized, with a tinge of irritation--at the man's face. He was certainly something to look at. A muscular body, chiseled features, a beard and hair in all the right places--he might have been Zion's exact type, before. Before.

Zion clenched his fist, and leaned against the man's touch. Before he knew what was happening, their lips were pressing together, and a hand was wandering underneath his shirt.

-x-
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:27 pm

Lars hated to sick his boss on anyone, mostly because he hated talking to his boss period, but in this case he didn't think he could get Zion to see him any other way. He had bought them lunch, though, and Zion an energy drink, and his favorite dessert and, well, he would have bought him flowers and anything else he wanted, too, but he figured best to save that for a more private apology. It was bad enough he had bought Zion so much stuff that he knew that Zion loved in the first place. Sure he was his manager but it looked a tad conspicuous, especially since he had made his boss send him to his office, too.

He picked at his own food, completely not hungry as he waited for Zion to show up. He adjusted the sleeve of his long sleeved shirt, pulling it down a bit farther on his arm until it covered not only the new track mark but also his very old self harm scars.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 pm

Zion shuffled through the door unceremoniously, looking more than a bit miffed.

"The big boss dragged me down here," he grumbled, arms crossed. His nostrils flared at the delicious smell of Chinese takeout, but he did his best to maintain his sour expression.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:44 pm

Lars awkwardly pushed the takeout closer to Zion, smiling a strained smile.

"It's your favorite," he said gently.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:48 pm

He allowed himself to sit down very slowly. He carefully pulled a fork from Lars's desk, eyeing him suspiciously.

"...You got the good chow mein with the meat and shit?"
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:51 pm

"...and your favorite dessert," he said, trying not to smile at Zion's clear hesitation in walking away from this opportunity. "And a drink."
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:06 pm

He reluctantly cracked open the Monster Energy and began eating, increasing the speed of his fork as he gave into his hunger.


"Fine, thanks," he said, his mouth full of food like a chipmunk. "Don't think this fixes stuff. What do you need me for today, anyway?"
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:20 pm

"...I know," he said quietly. Moving right past it he continues, "we have to go over what you want in your music video, the specific editing and I also need your input on whether we should continue to hire our current choreographer for your other videos."
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:21 pm

He swallowed his mouthful of noodles. "Uhm...I don't know. Maybe we need the current choreography guy, you know? Or something. It's just really hard to think about right now. Who knows if we can even trust him?"

He avoided Lars's eyes.
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by Axton on Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:30 pm

"...what?" Lars said, staring at Zion as he eats. Zion not meeting his eyes is not a new phenomena at the moment, but the strange way he's talking sure is. "Do you like his work or not?"
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Re: Holy Diver

Post by OtomePeach on Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:37 pm

He scowled.

"Man, I can't do this--cut the shit. You're fucking using again. How long have you been doing it? I didn't sign up to be used and lied to."
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Re: Holy Diver

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